Michael Jackson's "secret son" unveiled by his proud grandfather

More spectacular good taste from the Jackson family and its associates, as the lawyer for Michael's mother Katherine tells a TV interviewer that she is the "Coretta Scott King of the world's entertainment business".

Meanwhile, misunderstood family patriarch Joe has taken it upon himself to announce that Omar Bhatti, the previously unidenitifed young man who attended Michael's memorial with the Jackson family, is in fact the deceased singer's son.

"I knew Michael had another son - yes, I did," claims Joe, a man who likes to give the impression of having been privy to everything from Michael's innermost thoughts to the decision to invade Iraq.

"He looks like a Jackson, he acts like a Jackson and he can dance like a Jackson. This boy's a fantastic dancer - as a matter of fact, he teaches dance …"

Why, Omar sounds like the sort of artist that could be rushed onto the books of a fledgling Blu-Ray record company, so we can only hope such an opportunity presents itself as a matter of urgency.
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